The Greatest Western Philosopher Of All Time

Recently I happened upon a youtube channel called MrBallen because I was bored and looking for some weird interesting stories to spark the ole noggin. Mr Ballen has a ton of interesting and cool stories about missing people, crazy military stories, mysterious paranormal activity, etc, but one story caught my attention, and boy did it bring me down a rabbit hole. The video is about a man named “Timothy Dexter” who lived in Newburyport, Massachusetts from 1747 to 1806. Mr Ballen calls the video “The stray cat king” and it is inspired from a video called “Timothy Dexter: The Dumbest Rags-to-Riches Story” by the youtube channel Sam O’Nella Academy. Both videos are quite comedic:

While those videos had me laughing out loud as I watched them, on a hunch I decided to check out Timothy’s “dumb illiterate anthology” because If I know modern mainstream media, history, science, culture, and religion, then what the mainstream calls “dumb illiterate ramblings” is likely absolute gold information. His anthology is called “A Pickle For The Knowing Ones”, it contains no punctuation what-so-ever, random capitalization of words, and all of the words are spelled as if a 2nd grader was trying to sound out how to spell the words. Here are some examples, “Jorge Washeton”(George Washington), “noue”(new), “Adtetoude”(attitude), “felosfer”(philosopher), “tobacker” (tobacco), “Jnrel”(General, haha), “gloube” (globe). After some publishers complained about his lack of punctuation, he added the following to his second edition:

I found a passable translation (although I think the translation misinterprets some things ) and read his anthology. Turns out my hunch was 100% spot on. Lord Timothy Dexter is easily the greatest Western philosopher of all time, greater than Plato, Aristotle, Thomas Aquinas, Plotinus, Hermes Trimegestus, Thoth, Hegel, Kant, Socrates, etc, hands down without question. I’m convinced this dude was one of the smartest human beings to ever exist. He is also the only man I will ever willingly call ‘Lord’. He was made a Lord by the people of his town and state, not by some foreign King but by his community. That’s a man worthy of the title of ‘Lord’. They thought him worthy enough to be a proper Lord so they made him one. Allow me to explain the genius of this guy by going through what he says in his anthology…

Oddly specific instructions for how to remove the veil hiding the demon/daemon/devils(ill be using Dexters term ‘devel’ to represent all three) that follow most of us around. Fasting for 40 hours would starve and remove all parasites and bad bacteria, parasites are the physical manifestation of a devel spirit. Maybe removing the devels physical parasite anchor drastically reduces the devels influence on us. After fasting, standing on your head would rapidly force blood to your brain, which feasibly could increase brain concentration and focus (albeit for only a short amount of time). I’ve mentioned before that blood(low viscous) is more electromagnetically reactive than ferrofluid, that the mulberry shaped piezoelectric calcite crystals called the ‘pineal gland’ can produce electricity when vibrated or pressured and that it is possible to consciously control the organs around the pineal gland, which includes almost every unconsciously controlled function of the human body as well as the occipital lobe. Also standing on your head would look like you were standing upright to an entity looking through the opposite side of mirror. Holding the bible is like an airport limo driver holding a sign with their passengers name on it. In other words you aren’t summoning the devel, but are offering them a drive into this realm except the vehicle isn’t a limo, its your physical body(I’ve mentioned before that we don’t have a soul, we are a soul, the body is a vehicle/avatar). The mirror(‘loucking glass’) can let us see things that are outside our time and spatial light perception because of reflective mirror refraction(especially when more than 1 mirror is used). I’d suggest only doing the above if you do not fear the unknown.

Why do celebrities cover all of their mirrors and fake mirror pictures? Why do movies and popular culture often times show demons hiding in mirrors? Lord Timothy Dexter knows why…

Timothy Dexter explains in 2 sentences a more feasible way to legitimately lift the veil of this realm than any book ever written, any religion ever created, any guru that ever existed, any shaman that ever existed, any monk, any occultist, any alchemist, any philosopher, Jesus, every ancient god, every buddha, etc. 2 sentences he drops one of the biggest pearls of truth I’ve ever come across and he does it while trolling like a 2nd grader(the poor spelling isn’t just to troll, it has many purposes).

Despite what the comedic videos exclaim about Timothy Dexter just ‘stumbling’ upon his investment ventures because of other ‘aristocracy’ trying to bankrupt him, the above explains in detail that Lord Tim knew exactly what he was doing. He was one of the largest backers of government securities during the Revolutionary War, and when the US won, he became a multi billionaire (in todays money). In a way, the USA doesn’t win the Revolutionary War without the financial backing of Timothy Dexter. The comedic videos mock him because he placed himself on the same level as the ‘founding fathers’, when he was actually one of the largest funders of the american revolutionary army. How much funding did John Hancock, Ben Franklin, Alex Hamilton put up to prop up the continental currency used to pay for the supplies and weapons, ammo, soldier pay, etc. John Hancock just had his lolipop licking fancy pants hand writing (ooo ahhhh). But what did he actually do to help create America, there are many so-called founding fathers that did nothing even close to what Timothy Dexter did. He put up his entire fortune to back the continental currency. He went all in.

He knew whale bone fashion was blowing up in France, so he systematically cornered the whale bone market of the entire Northeastern United States in 50 days under the noses of NY, Boston, and Salem increasing his wealth by 75%.

He dreamed about ‘warming pans’ doing well in the West Indies for 3 nights in a row. Being a ‘knowing one’ he knew that was an obvious sign from the universe. So after the universe gave him a sign he without hesitation bought forty two thousand warming pans, packed them in 9 different ships, and sent them all to different ports in the West Indies. He sold them all and increased his wealth by 79%.

He bought twenty one thousand bibles, put them on a bunch of ships and sent them to different ports in the west Indies. He sold them all and increased his wealth by 100%.

Wise words explaining that if you do not have a moral populace you must consolidate power into a moral king. He frequently mentions his ole pal “king bonne partey the grat”, haha but I can’t tell if he’s poking fun at Bonaparte or if he actually thinks Bonaparte is a good king/ruler.

Lord Timothy Dexter reminds me of the character played by Brendan Gleeson in the movie, “The Guard” especially in the following clip between Brendan Gleeson and Don Cheadle. Gleeson is just a typical Irish police guard. Don Cheadle is an FBI agent sent to Ireland to catch an international drug cartel. Throughout the entire movie Cheadle cannot ever tell if Gleeson is full of shit or is actually a genius. Gleeson and Lord Timothy Dexter have almost the exact same demeanor.

When you cannot tell if someone is really dumb or really smart, it means they are likely extremely smart. The best military strategists throughout history are the ones where no one could really tell if the strategist was really dumb or really smart. For example, George Patton finished dead last in his graduating class at West Point, used to tell people that he remembered being a roman general in a past life, was very eccentric, yet is arguably the greatest general of WW2. No one could tell (cept Rommel) if he was “really motha-fuckin dumb, or really motha-fuckin smart”.

If you know your opponent is smart, you will plan for a smart enemy, a smart enemy will always make the logical and smart move, this means you can predict their movement and plan accordingly. If you know your opponent is dumb, you will plan for a dumb enemy, a dumb enemy will fall for simple maneuvers. If you don’t know whether your opponent is smart or dumb, you cannot plan for them because you have no idea what will work on them. Therefore always be weary of someone if you cannot tell if they are really dumb or really smart.

In my opinion people like this appear dumb because they simply do not care about things normies care about, things like watching tv series, the news, sports, or using the latest social media. They do not give a crap about any of the mundane bs people regularly subject themselves to. Here is a general rule, if you cannot tell if someone is really dumb or really smart, assume they are really smart in subjects you do not even know exist.

Lord Tim saw that the whole “cap and gown degree’s” were just a freemasonic scam. Ever hear “33rd Degree Freemason”. The keyword is degree. What do we get when we graduate college? A degree. Keep in mind he figured this out in the 1780s. In 2021 you’ll likely not find 1 in 100000 humans that can explain the purpose of the cap and gowns used during all college graduation ceremonies.

He makes a wise statement about every man having some small amount of ‘devel’ in them when given power.

He laments being unable to properly reach the common folk about the obvious lies he see’s propping up. This entire anthology is likely his attempt to awaken the general populace without revealing things outright. Most that read my blog likely have experienced what happens when you try to forcefully wake friends or family up, it almost never works. The longest fight in movie history is a metaphor for how ridiculously hard it is to forcefully wake a friend up.

“A Pickle For The Knowing Ones” is referring to the ‘pickle’ that the “knowing ones” (awakened) often find themselves in when trying to help/explain things to ones around them. It requires a very high level of compassion, empathy, and finesse or it will be like the above scene in “They Live”. In his anthology, Lord Tim disguises every truth he reveals as just the ramblings of a illiterate buffoon. The purpose for this is so everyone that reads it can advance at their own pace, they may read it when young and think the man a buffoon, but maybe when they are older and wiser they will see the truth in Lord Tim’s supposed ramblings. The poor spelling and punctuation also gives Lord Tim a universal karmic law shield, a liability shield from the incredible influence of the Church, as well as a liability shield in the laws of merchants.

Lord Tim reveals another pearl of truth in his explanation that all wars (mostly) are caused by broken merchants who operate on debt, deceit, trickery aka devels. The broken merchants start wars because they have nothing to lose and war is the only way for them to regain their wealth.

You couldn’t just straight up call all priests devils back in 1780s, because the entirety of the Church would use its immense influence on the populace to destroy you. This is another example of Lord Tim’s brilliance. He doesn’t call all priests devils, he calls them all “devel preasts”. The poor spelling protects him from any attacks by the Church, because it would make it seem like the Church was picking on an illiterate buffoon.

“When man is so weak he wont do for a lawyer, make a priest of him”. Damn that is so true. My parents raised me catholic, I went to catholic school all my life, and used to go to church every Sunday. I always thought every priest was a limp-wristed pussy of a man. None of them were someone I would have ever sought any kind of advice from. Lord Tim explains a viable alternative to seek spiritual advice from, a ‘friar’ because a priest is just a grabbler con artist weakling. It had never occured to me that a friar was different than a priest, but if you think about it, a friar is more like a hermit, they don’t go around preaching “repent your sins by paying us money” which is essentially what mass service is. A friar lives in nature like hermits, they probably would be very good sources of spiritual advice.

The third highlighted section explains an incident where one of Lord Tim’s housekeeper was experiencing paranormal activity and thought it was because she had ‘sinned’, so she sent for a priest. The priest came and said a prayer. As a result the housekeeper stopped experiencing paranormal activity, but instead she turned into a crazy woman. In other words because she consented to the priests help it opened her heart up for possession by what ever was haunting her house. Meaning exorcism is likely not what people think. This is the case in the movie “The Exorcism” when you think about it. The priest in “The Exorcism” doesn’t actually get rid of the demon, he simply gets it to switch bodies with himself. Meaning the priests heart was more open to demonic possession than the young naïve girl.

Lord Tim says, [translated by me because the one above is slightly off] “The priest can’t lay the serpent. How many nicknames? Three things [the trinity, aka the father, son, holy ghost] (they) have, so sayeth the preacher. Amen, Amen. See I am doing ‘faith’.” He is mocking the complete madness that is the Christian “Trinity”, the original translation misinterpreted the last line.

The next few highlighted sections Lord Tim continues to call out colleges and priests as the complete scams that they are. He laments not being able to stop the honest people from falling for the lies of priests and the falsity of colleges.

Lord Tim stops talking mad shit about priests, colleges, lawyers and free masons and gets back to dropping pearls of truth. The highlighted section(look at the original version on the left) reveals that Lord Tim can use normal spelling and proper grammar. Clearly the bad spelling was being done as a troll and liability shield not because he was illiterate.

Lord Tim surmises that the Earth is a massive creature, all organisms within Earth are microscopic on a Earth scale and all of the organisms make up the whole of the massive creature we call Earth. What human brain cells are to a human, humans are to the Earth. Lord Tim is saying the universe is infinite on a time and spatial scale. He suspects humans have dominion over the creatures of Earth, humans have the most power. Then explains that because humans have the most power, they can be the most helpful creatures in Earth but can also be the most vile creatures in Earth.

This was in the 1790s-1800s. The only other source I’ve ever come across that has a similar view of the universe is Cyrus Reed Teed, a man who started a cult in the 1870s after taking the name Koresh (not to be confused with the name of the cult leader of the same name that was murdered along with women and children by the FBI in Waco Texas). Cyrus wrote a book called, “The Cellular Cosmogony: Earth is a Concave Sphere, with Proof” that provides legitimate proof that the earth is concave (not a globe aka convex, and not flat. It curves up). He thought that Earth was a cell of a much larger organism, that we live on the inside of the membrane of the cell, and that the universe was infinite on a time and spatial scale.

My current comprehension of the nature of this realm is the same as Lord Timothy Dexter except I think there will be no end to the universe, it is infinitely fractal in time and space. Infinitely fractal in time as in 1 year for a human is 100,000 years for a blood cell, but only 5 minutes for the Earth cell. Infinitely fractal in space as in the entire realm we call Earth is a microscopic cell of a much larger organism, which means each of the cells that make up a human are worlds just as relatively large as Earth. My current comprehension of the nature of this realm is the same as Cyrus Reed Teed except on the shape of the cell, he assumes its a concave sphere, I surmise its a concave shape that could be the shape of a tree or a hexagon or a pentagon or a sphere or a octahedral, or a human. Dexter and Teed had the best comprehension of the nature of this realm throughout all of history, better than the bible, better than any Western philosopher, better than any Western myth. I specify ‘Western’ because I have a gut feeling that there are Eastern books, philosophers, and myths that are more accurate, and that there are African, Western Indian(native americans), Mayan, Incan, and Aztec myths that are more accurate. I cannot confirm this because I do not speak or read Eastern(hehe), African(hehe), Western Indian(hehe), or Mexican(hehe). I can only speak and read Western(hehe).

Here Lord Tim rants about his wife being a evil piece of work that got his daughter involved with a “Abraham Bishop”(I think this is a euphemism for jew) who was a weak devel controlled man who hit his daughter on a few occasions. His wife would always take the side of the Abraham Bishop in order to siphon funds from Timothy because of his soft heart for his daughter. He eventually started referring to his wife as a ‘ghost’ to people that visited his mansion. His wife would say something and Lord Tim would, say “pay no attention to the ghost” (haha).

He then spends more time explaining that the pope and the entire catholic church worships death. This might be a hard pill to swallow for some catholics but why else would catholics be so incredibly obsessed with relics of the dead, eating the body of christ, drinking christs blood, wearing all black uniforms with a small white slip around the throat, feast days, etc. The black uniform priests wear are telling us they are dark devels in their soul except for their voice which is white, in other words they talk about doing good but are dark devels at heart. Lord Tim goes back to the bad spelling because no one could say things like this back in 1780s without being destroyed by the Church.

Conclusion

The Sole Is The Thinking Part…

Grat Felospher Lord Timothy Dexter

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